Tuesday, 25 February 2014

NZTC countdown: 4 days! Greatest Warhammer Battles of History...

Greatest Warhammer Battles of History...

The lists are all in and by now every team should have had a good go at reviewing potential matchups. The lists this year are definitely a step up from last, with 90% of the field bringing what can only be called a "competitive" list. 

Of course there are the usual cry babies who a lambasting over such abstract terms as "copy & paste" and "netlist". Some have even called the tournament boring. Well here is a clue to all those haters out there. HTFU. 

There is no peer/panel/subjective comp to be seen here (except the team called panel comp.. stupid Aussies can't let it go!) fixed it for yah =)

The breakdown this year is very interesting in that just about every team has arrived with a different team composition. Not only that, when you start reviewing the lists individually you start to see stark variation in the list designs. There is not 9 Throgg lists like some claim... However there  is always one exception to the rule, this time being Empire. The other lists have a huge degree of variation to them and waves a good flag for the low/0 comp community (read real Warhammer). 

Apparently, not to be undone by the Juggernaught factories of Khorne, The Empire has founded a new breeding ranch for Demigryphs, and the Nulu artillery school has been hard at work increasing the number of steam tanks and cannon in the realm. And as there is always an exception to the rule, there is also always an exception to the exception... the special snowflake this time is Alan from team Basiliers who seams to have submitted the same list as last year...

So on to the important stuff...

I'm taking a Krak at picking the top teams this year. In no particular order...

The Vonn Trapp Family
Current reining Warhammer champion of the >country< and current holders of the NZTC cup, only a fool would discount Pete and his offspring. They bring Warriors, Dark Elves, Daemons and Skaven to the party, which, IMO is close (ruined only by the rats!) to a perfect combo for team design. Can they hold on to the old mug or will the even make the podium? No doubt the team will have to carry Pete's Skaven as everyone knows they are so hard done by these days...

The team with the dream. Can they dethrone the coven of evil? Arguably one of the strongest team designs including Warriors, Daemons, Empire but once again being let down by rats. If they had some good stout Dwarfs (snigger) or more seriously Dark Elves they would be a shoe in. Wolfpack has the potential to be the kingmaker, but it all depends on their day one performance. 

Stonesfall Massive
Packing Warriors, Ogres, Daemons and Empire, this is another team that has a good mix of armies. The only thing holding them back will be if Joel chokes every round or not. 

Panel Comp
Trying to embrace the spirit of Warhammer, I have included some of our unfortunate cousins from across the ditch, despite the name. Warriors, Skaven, Empire and Dark Elves make the combo. Having no Daemons will be a sore point however can the Aussies compete to the same level without all the handicaps they place on the game? They will either finish top 5 or bottom 5! 

Team with the Guy.....
Dark Elves, High Elves, Daemons and Empire. Oh so close, except for that Guy. The guy is obviously the High Elves player, and the full name is obviously the "Team with the Guy that let down the rest of the team by taking High Elves to a serious Warhammer competition..." If they switched out High Elves for Woc, they would be the Dream Team!

The gay bandwagon team arrives in all is glory, no smack post would be complete without talking about DILF's. If they can stop day dreaming about having their very own sugar daddy, or checking out the opposition they may just have a chance. Although not the strongest combination of armies, they afford an interesting mix which is sure to give some teams a headache. just be careful of them offering you a drink as they may have slipped something into it... You have been warned

So that leaves my Team. Where will we come? Rocking Dark Elves, Lizardmen, Vampire Counts and Dwarfs its an obvious run for the wooden spoon here. Packing a Lizardman Bus, a new player that's never played in a tournament before, the slowest Warhammer player in the universe and an infantry DE list that I have never tested before, with a bit of luck and some ace matchups we will middle pack in about 7th (+ or - 6 places)

So who will be the Winner? Who wins out of Blackbreard vs Al Capone?

Parting shot: Best team composition IMO would have been Dark Elves, Daemons, Empire, and Warriors. Interesting nobody took it...


  1. Lol, best write up so far Tim.

  2. Panel Comp and Peer Comp are not the same thing, although I should clearly not be expecting a New Zealander to understand, given the disdain you display...

    1. Might as well be. Both subjective. Rest of the world moved on from flogging that dead horse, thankfully the world has the Aussies to stand guard over the rotting carcass whilst trying to resuscitate it =)

    2. Much better. As for how the Aussies will fare, I will predict a top 3 finish for the Panel Comp team. They may not like effectively no-comp tournaments, but it's clear from some of the other lists that they still have a better idea of how to do it than a lot of others...

    3. @ Hoodling...just ignore Tim. He is someone who hails from NZ's preeminent conservative backwater (Invercargill) and can't quite understand the concept of holism.
      I still love you Tim, you misunderstood misanthrope.

    4. This comment has been removed by the author.

    5. Love you long time Rory. I was surprised you didn't take skaven, what with how proficient you believe you need to be with them, and their tendency to "jump ship" at the first opportunity =)

    6. I have a new prediction Hoodling. Both Aussie teams will have the time of their lives playing wardollies with all the big kids in NZ, so much so that they will export the goodness that is hard cap/0 comp back to Aussie so that our Antipodean cousins may embrace all that is great in this world!

  3. Good write up Tim, entertaining as ever. Beauty and the Beasts brought WOC, DOC, Empire and DE though.

    Also, as an Englishman, I think peer comp is silly too, so it's not just NZ'ers!

    1. I was waiting for Sam or Hamish to bite.

  4. What about the Team with the Guy Hoodling?... Who are the other Aussie team. Just guessing dead last?

    Cheers Jerk

    1. easy now, its all tongue in cheek

    2. Just so you know I am "The Jerk" so proclaimed by the Vic scene, It was not meant to sound like having a dig at you Jossy.

    3. Last in sports, Mr Jerk. If they score that over in NZ. Could be they don't bother with such niceties, as they are all Real Men.

      You guys will finish mid-field, with the filthy variation of my Empire army over there to prop you up a bit...

    4. You should have a dig at him, you're not sounding very 'Jerklike'

    5. Yeah, he's really pretty terrible at being a jerk. Even though he tries very hard sometimes.