Monday, 17 February 2014

NZTC 12 days to total oblivion!

We are now closing in on the final stretch. In a little under two weeks, the windy capitol will be hosting a bunch of bridesmaids and the winning team!

We have past one of the last milestones on Friday midnight Kiwi time. All lists have been submitted and finalised by now. After the stark appraisal from resident self proclaimed Warhammer guru Pete Dunn, our team had to go back to the drawing board.

You're f@$ked

Now the original draft was to shock and awe by using Old World fluff to confuse our opponents to our underlying strategy. After running a few scenarios (I started watching Season 2 of House of Cards, that s*@#s amazing!). We had come up with the combination of Dwarfs, High Elves, Wood Elves and Brettonians (High Elves was later swapped to Tomb Kings). Upon closer scrutiny, we realised that the matchup process may be more difficult than anticipated...

All cause for worry, but the most disturbing was the revaluation of a rat being caught in a trap in the garage. It was assumed that Pete had sent spies to all the other teams Captains but now I had proof. No sooner had I found the rat (nothing better than a dead rat I tell you) than I double guard duty on KastleKrak and enlisted the services of my pet guard dog Sam.

Here is Sam Standing at attention. Nothing gets past him! Note supper long tongue, perfect for licking spies to death!

Sam also does a great Sphinx impersonation. He plans on guarding for a long time...

Here he is savagely mauling the next door neighbours kids ball that attempted to infiltrate the back yard...

Seriously that dog is a psychopath. This morning he found a hedgehog in the garden and started throwing it up in the air like a ball before digging a hole and attempting to bury it alive... you have been warned!

So all this has lead to an 11th hour decision to change the team makeup. We will now go for a much softer approach to at least give others a chance (in the fluffy stakes).

Our new team will consist of the following:

  • Scar Vets
  • Executioners
  • Terrorgiests
  • Miners
Now that we have left the filth at home we can feel all warm and fuzzy about ourselves next weekend. For the safety of all others I will however be leaving Sam at home. No doubt some sneaky rat will try infiltrate KastleKrak whilst I am gone. Best be safer rather than sorry.